When defending what we believe reveals something about how we’re responding.
Issue 25 | November 7, 2026
“But, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head, Christ.”
Ephesians 4:15, NKJV
Have you ever walked away from a conversation knowing you were right about what you said, but still feeling unsettled about how the conversation went?
Maybe someone questioned your judgment, misunderstood your intentions, or challenged something you knew to be true. You explained your position, gave your reasons, and perhaps even used Scripture to support what you were saying. But somewhere along the way, the conversation changed. What began as an attempt to communicate became an effort to make sure the other person understood why you were right.
You may have become impatient, interrupted, or found yourself repeating the same point because you couldn’t understand why the other person wasn’t seeing what seemed obvious to you. And even though you still believe your position was correct, something about how you handled the conversation doesn’t sit well with you.
I’ve been thinking about how easily this can happen, particularly when we’re discussing things that matter deeply to us. We can be sincere in our convictions and still become defensive when those convictions are challenged. Sometimes we’re so focused on whether we’re right that we fail to consider what our response is revealing about us.
When Being Right Becomes the Focus
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be accurate. Truth matters, sound doctrine matters, and there are times when we must stand firmly on what Scripture teaches, even when others disagree. But we need to recognize the difference between communicating what is true and becoming personally invested in proving that we’re right.
When our concern is communicating truth, we’re interested in whether something is being understood accurately. We listen, explain, answer questions, and remain willing to examine our own understanding. But when proving ourselves right becomes the priority, our attention can shift toward whether the other person acknowledges our position. Their disagreement may begin to feel like disrespect, and their questions may sound like resistance.
Before long, the conversation becomes less about understanding and more about who has the final word. The information we’re communicating may still be correct, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re handling it well.
What Scripture Teaches About Maturity
In Ephesians 4, Paul urges believers to walk worthy of their calling in Christ. He begins by describing the attitudes that should characterize their relationships.
“With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love.”
Ephesians 4:2, NKJV
Paul then explains how Christ has equipped His church for ministry and spiritual growth. The goal is a mature body of believers who are established in truth, no longer easily influenced by false teaching, and growing together into Christ.
Within that context, Paul instructs believers to speak the truth in love. He doesn’t present truth and love as competing responsibilities. Both are necessary for spiritual maturity.
We cannot use love as a reason to compromise what Scripture teaches, but neither can we use truth as permission to disregard how we treat people. Our convictions and our conduct must both come under the authority of God’s Word.
This becomes particularly important when we’re correcting someone or addressing a disagreement. We may have a legitimate concern, but we still need to examine whether our words, tone, and attitudes reflect the humility and gentleness Scripture requires.
What Our Responses Reveal
Difficult conversations often reveal areas of our character that ordinary circumstances don’t expose. It’s relatively easy to demonstrate patience when people agree with us. It’s much more challenging when someone questions our judgment, misunderstands our intentions, or refuses to acknowledge something we believe is important.
Those moments can reveal whether we’re allowing frustration, pride, or defensiveness to influence our responses. We may discover that we have difficulty listening when challenged or that we become impatient when others don’t understand as quickly as we’d like.
Recognizing these things doesn’t necessarily mean our original concern was wrong. It means there may be something about our response that needs attention.
James 1:19–20 instructs believers to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath, reminding us that human anger does not produce the righteousness of God. We may be addressing something that genuinely needs correction, but the legitimacy of our concern doesn’t automatically make every expression of our frustration appropriate.
We also need to distinguish between communicating truth and attempting to control another person’s response. We can explain our concerns, provide correction where appropriate, and establish accountability when we have the responsibility to do so. But we cannot make someone agree with us. Sometimes maturity requires us to recognize when we’ve communicated faithfully and when continuing the conversation is no longer productive.
There are times when correction must be firm, particularly when wrongdoing or harmful behavior is involved. Speaking the truth in love doesn’t require us to avoid those responsibilities. It does require us to remain accountable for our own conduct while fulfilling them.
Before the Wind Settles
Think about a recent conversation where you were convinced that your position was right. Perhaps you still believe it was. But consider how you handled the disagreement. Did you listen as carefully as you wanted to be heard? Were you willing to consider what the other person was saying? Did your words and tone reflect the patience and humility Scripture requires?
Sometimes we need to acknowledge that we mishandled a conversation without abandoning a legitimate conviction. We can apologize for our tone without pretending that our concern was unimportant. We can remain committed to truth while recognizing that we still have room to grow in how we communicate it.
Spiritual maturity involves more than knowing what Scripture says. It requires us to allow that truth to shape our character, particularly when our convictions are challenged.
So this week, I want to leave you with a question:
Can you be right about what you’re saying and still need correction in how you’re saying it?
It’s possible to be correct about an issue and still have something to learn about ourselves. And when we’re willing to recognize that, even a difficult conversation can become an opportunity for growth.
Until next time,
Dr. Netra Boykin
Clarity in the Wind
Unveiled | Living Letters
Clarity. Discernment. Faithfulness.
Go Deeper
This week, take some time to consider how you respond when your understanding, decisions, or convictions are challenged.
Reflect on three areas:
Conviction: Am I standing on what is true, or have I become personally invested in proving that I’m right?
Communication: Do my words, tone, and willingness to listen reflect the character of Christ?
Accountability: Can I acknowledge where my response needs correction without abandoning a legitimate conviction?
Think about a recent disagreement. What did your response reveal about you, and what might need to change?
Share This Issue
If this issue caused you to think about how you handle disagreements or communicate what you believe, consider sharing it with someone who may benefit from the reflection.
Every issue of Clarity in the Wind is available to read and share on our website.
Subscribe to Clarity in the Wind
Receive Clarity in the Wind each Saturday morning with weekly prophetic insight for discernment, spiritual clarity, and faithful response.
